Tug of War + Fighting With Creativity

I’m at war with something
A thing I’m trying to create
Mold
Form
Bend to what I see

So I pick up my end of the rope
Find a good grip and tug
There’s resistance
Tightness
An unrelenting tension

I glare at the ground
As my shoes dig into the dirt
My hands ache and burn
Sweat drips to the earth

In desperation I look up
And see a surprising sight
The thing smiles
Right at me

And drops the rope

I fly backwards with
Embarrassment and confusion
Resentment and anger

I prop myself up and look at
The thing
Still smiling
An irritatingly truthful and honest
Smile

Then she whispers,

My child.
I want to exist through you
You are the one I’ve chosen
To partner with in this world
But I need you to stop tugging at me
Let me be

Make space and I will emerge
When I’m ready

While you wait and practice patience,
Work on yourself
Untangle your tapes
Your limiting beliefs
Your hang ups
And when I sense it’s
Safe enough to meet you,
I will.

I promise.