playing victim & playing savior

“What motivates most of us to change is pain. Most of us change when the pain of the old behavior becomes greater than the pain of making the new change.”


Playing victim is not taking responsibility for your decisions & choices. Placing blame outside of yourself.

Playing savior is to do for others what they can do for themselves.

If pain is our main motivator…playing savior tries to take away someone’s pain so then they never experience the consequences of their decisions.


Which one do you struggle with?

Here’s some other thoughts because if you know me at all, you know I like to play savior…


“It is interesting that we often look at the person playing the role of victim as immature. It is more difficult for us to see that the person playing the role of savior has the same level of immaturity.”

“I saw I played savior in the lives of others to draw my attention away from own pain…saviors erroneously believe that they are able to do it for them or motivate them to do it.”

“I must continually remind myself that no one makes me feel or do anything” (It is my choice).

“I have experienced a tremendous amount of pain attempting to change others. When I attempt to play God (savior), then the result is pain in the relationship between that person and me — the result of expectations that are beyond the limits of being human.”

“My pain lessens when I accept the limitations of my power — the reality that I am only human.”


Frank A. Thomas, “Spiritual Maturity”